PROFILE ENTRIES FRIENDS ©
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| Fold and bend |
[11.16.09] |
I know I don't write anything substantial anymore; I cheat by posting lyrics. But I feel silly things most times and I don't think in thoughts anymore, but in songs. Today, it's a little sillier than usual, kinda makes me wish I thought real thoughts so I can do this right.
However, it doesn't seem like I've been doing anything right nowadays.
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| And the rain, it blows and it goes. |
[11.16.09] |
"Walking up the hill tonight
and you have closed your eyes.
I wish I didn't have to make
all those mistakes and be wise.
Please try to be patient
and know that I'm still learning.
I'm sorry that you have to see
the strength inside me burning.
Where are you my angel now
don't you see me crying?
And I know that you can't do it all
but you can't say I'm not trying.
I'm on my knees in front of him
but he doesn't seem to see me.
But all his troubles on his mind
he's looking right through me.
And I'm letting myself down
beside this fire in you.
And I wish that you could see
I have my troubles too.
Looking at you sleeping
I'm with the man I love.
I'm sitting here weeping
while the hours pass so slow.
And I know that in the morning
I'll have to let you go.
And you'll be just a man
one I used to know
and for these past few days
someone I don't recognize.
This isn't all my fault
when will you realize?
Looking at you leaving, I'm looking for a sign."
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| The birth was quick but the death is slow |
[10.18.09] |
"I don't know his name but Christ, can he fight
As I fell he told me you had a light
A light that shone inside you
'I found myself a decent man now
I love him because I can
The bravest that I've ever been
Was when I ran away from you.'
And so we disconnect
The room grows quiet around us
It's called the life effect
Will it always surround us?
And so we disconnect
The room grows quiet around us
Nothing left to protect
The end has finally found us
The day is almost over
It's almost time for bed
So now you've finally lost me
Rest your weary head."
I want to go swimming. Cold and clean. Like that one time.
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| No I'm not ready for hell, hell no, for hell, hell no |
[10.13.09] |
Oh wow. So let's see:
I've started work. It is kinda good. I write for a while, I finish writing then I get bored. Lots and lots of office drama, kinda fun because I am never involved thus I get to spectate. Dress code is lovely because I get to wear whatever the fuck I want. Food's kinda bad but will try not to complain. I have my bb with me and she's depressed enough for the both of us, so I will remain rainbows and sunshine for her. bbcakes <3
Twitter's still stupid, I go on occasionally and think to myself "WHY?" because what in the hell is going on in my life that I have to constantly tweet to the public about? So far my tweets are written in caps complaining about people or squeeing about Glee/Tegan and Sara. There really is no reason for people to care. Azmir, you're a liar, I CAN live without Twitter.
I smoke less everyday. It's getting to that point where I don't need to smoke anymore, I just do it when I'm with friends or when I'm bored to tears at work. I am proud, because I bought my pack of smokes three days ago and it's still going strong.
And so far, jolly well. There are little gloomy spots here and there; eg RM13k in debt, boyfriend's timezones away, online boutiques are still alive, ugly people, you know stuff like that. Nevertheless, life goes on and I'm still awesome.
I know you feel it too
It all seems so untrue
When you get up and over it and over them.
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[09.26.09] |
No, not "baby" anymore
If I need you I'll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while
We'll only have to wave.
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[09.18.09] |
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music |
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Rachael Yamagata |
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The cruise was awesome and Sweden was amazing, but all good things have to come to an end. Thus I'm back.
I eat, I watch Gilmore Girls and I crap a lot. Everyday. Like, 5 times a day on the shitter. It's ridiculous. The transition is taking its toll on me. My asshole is constantly on fire. Not a good feeling.
Besides the exciting update on my overexcited bowel movements, I basically have nothing to report on. Life in Malaysia is the same as usual; it is like I never left. Which doesn't suck, but the heat and humidity is quite the killahs. OMG THE FOOOOOOOOOD~ I get to eat anything and everything I want, I am spoiled maximus by the parentals. FISH CURRRYYYYY. Thinking of it makes me feel like dying, there is nothing better in this world. Of course, the constant shoving my face with spicy food and all things unhealthy is probably the cause of the severe diarrhea, but who cares!
I sleep a lot less now. Mostly I listen to Kimberly bitch on MSN about film noir as I wait for the Fin to come online. The time difference makes me want to cut someone. Of course when Fin shows up, he decides to watch True Blood -_- Life is grand, life is grand.
Was supposed to party tonight, but alas it was raining and the unwritten rule of the house is nobody goes out when it's raining, lest the car we're in skids on the slippery road and we all end up dying a horribly premature death. Of course, it has stopped raining for about a half hour now, but the roads are still wet innit? PFFT till next time.
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| LET'S GET SILLEH! |
[08.31.09] |
Here's to more silly moments together. Happy anniversary <3
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[08.27.09] |
Everytime I watch Marie Antoinette, I just really really want to eat cake. Lots and lots of cake! Colorful ones! Pinks and purples! And I want to wear really big dresses and dainty shoes! With lace and satin and silk! Except I'm not really feeling the big wigs though.
Must stop watching TV.
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[08.25.09] |
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music |
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Florence and the Machine |
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I have a week left here in magical Finland. I am sad and curious at the same time. I don't know why curious because I know home will be the same as always, as it always have been. But it's been officially a year since I've left home - for the very first time, mind you - and there's always that little something at the back of your head suggesting that maybe things will be different. Different billboards, new restaurants, new electrical appliances at home, a different arrangement of furniture maybe - that sort of thing. It's the silly things like that I want to keep up with, if there is anything to keep up to speed at all. Because I know the real deal honestly, never really changes.
I want to bring so many things home with me! I want to bring Karo, the ginormous black Newfoundland Maria and Antti has who is the most adorable thing in the world. And Fin's Guitar Hero so I can actually attempt Expert. In fact I want to ship his entire apartment home with me - boyfriend inclusive - so I don't have to constantly be on MSN and Skype at odd hours to talk to him.
You think if I label all that shit as "Gift", I won't get taxed?
We have one more expedition to go for this weekend right before I leave for Malaysia and I'm left a little bittersweet about it. Bitter because obviously the fairytale ends there, sweet because who else gets to say they spent their one-year anniversary on a cruise to Stockholm?
I really want some Pyynikki donuts now. Time to brainwash the boyfriend into wanting some too!
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[08.07.09] |
I just saw a dude with headphones on text his friend.
I don't think that's a smart thing to do while you ride your bike.
In other news, there is nothing more confusing than watching Alvin and the Chipmunks dubbed.
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